(A/N: Formerly known as "The 25 Most Ridiculously Hot Female Fighters." We added a few more.)
We've been playing our collective asses off in Soul Calibur IV this last week, taking exhaustive notes on the fine graphics. Love 'em or not, females in fighting games are always going to be downright sexy. But even though the soul still burns, the SlobsofGaming will never forget the beautiful women of fighting games past and present.
Join us as we steamroll through our newest countdown, dedicated to the most underclothed, overboobed, and unflinchingly hot fighting femmes in gaming history -- Are you ready for this?
29. Setsuka (Soul Calibur)
Setsuka ranks as one of the best (and newer) characters to be introduced to any fighting game. Best outfit EVER. Yes, our bottom entry is a Soul Calibur IV fighter, but Setsuka's always one of our first choices in a match.
Measurements/Stats: Age: 24, Height: 5' 6'', Weight: 114 lbs.
Video Games That Suck Ass: Part III of IX
SPORTS GAME EDITION
It's not hard to mess up a sports game, but some games are so horrid, they actually disgrace the very sport they try to emulate. The Slobs have gathered 15 of the worst games that sports fanatics should avoid, just in case you happen to find them in your local bargain bin or garage sale. This includes basketball, soccer, wrestling, whiffle ball, and more bastardized sports galore!
My Horse & Me (Wii)
Horse racing is one of the most barbaric things done to animal kind, and My Horse & Me is equally one of the worst things on the Wii today. If there's a Hell, this must be how horses imagine it -- stale environments, boring training exercises, and creepy no-face girls riding you to death. Nintendo's gotten scary.
Video game music rocks. It has grown dramatically as a genre in the last 40 years, from the bleeps and bloops of Pac-Man to the wondergasmic orchestras behind the Final Fantasy series. Music in the gaming world has not only created an entire underground genre of entertainment, but it has also inspired many fans to pay tribute through their own masterful music.
These are the very best of gamers and musicians, the top video game cover bands. Here at SlobsofGaming, we're saluting class acts like the hardcore NESkimos, the metalhead Minibosses, and the enigmatic Black Mages. Sit down, take a listen, and enjoy the nostalgic gaming tunes...
Powerglove
Powerglove, birthed from Massachusetts, takes a metal tone with their favorite video game music. (Of course, they're named after a special sort of NES controller.) This cover band also as the best damn costumes you'll ever see on stage, looking like they walked off a Viking battleground. As far as pure metal goes, these guys really know their stuff. If you haven't checked out their first two albums, pray that they finish making their rumored third.
Any girl can throw up a MySpace picture with a controller in hand and claim to be a gamer, but these ladies took it to the next level with a true love of gaming. These 13 women are loved by gamers far and wide -- and not just because they're so damn pretty! They may be models, writers, bloggers, developers, and TV hosts, but these girls carry more gaming spirit in them than most of us ever will...
13/12 (TIE): The Athena Twins
Athena Twin PMS and Athena PMS (also known as Valkyrie of the Frag Dolls) are famous for founding the PMS Clan. Pandora's Mighty Soldiers are one of the most feared armies in the world of competitive gaming, and you'd be wise to fear them. Fear them!
Any gamer can appreciate the smell of a brand new video game, but there's plenty of game-related merchandize that easily take priority over the next big PS3, X360, or Wii title. Owning one of Bioshock's Big Daddy statues is almost as awesome as owning the collector's edition of the game itself, and who wouldn't want to relive their childhood with Super Mario ice cream? Here's our picks for the best gaming merchandise that you can buy -- And if we're missing your favorites, tell us what gaming goodies you guys would buy!
10. Metal Gear Solid 4's Headset
(Pssst. Get it here!)This slick item will set you back at least $60, but Metal Gear fans wouldn't want to answer their phone calls any other way. If you own Guns of the Patriots, you can even sync the Codec with this bad boy and listen in to Otacon's incessant ranting. The only problem is that it only LOOKS cool -- reportedly, the sound quality isn't too clear. Snake? Hello? Snake? Snaaaaaaaaake!
Ask any gamer why it is they play games for hours on end and they'll likely mention the fact that games, whether we're talking Metal Gear or Mario Bros., empower us gamers with the ability to do things and to play roles that we can't in real life. Imagine for a moment what you could accomplish if you were able to take those incredible game characters' powers out of the game itself and use them in real life. We've selected 9 video game super powers that we'd love to use in order to rule at real life.
Never Leave the Couch via Dhalsim's Yoga Stretch - Getting up to grab food and remote controls won't ever be a problem with a little yoga training.
While the gaming industry seems to have attracted a new fan base with peripherals and games that cater to fitness, it seems that the older, hardcore gamers are being forgotten and getting left out. With that in mind, we have compiled a list of future video game peripherals that would accommodate this passionate player and cater to what they truly want: to be lazier.
7: The Gaming Suit
How many times while enjoying an extended match of shoot-em-up has some whiner walked by, called you a slob and then complained of a strange odor radiating from you. And while we understand that you have a glandular problem and that it isn't necessarily your fault, they seem determined to blame your poor hygiene as the culprit. If this has ever happened to you, let me introduce The Gaming Suit. This skin tight, space-age polymer ensemble not only looks great but also contains tiny internal aqua jets that when hooked up to a water source will administer small spurts of H2O that thoroughly clean your body while also preventing annoying bed sores. Additionally, the airtight polymers not only trap and contain any noxious bodily odors but the suit's slick exterior sheen is reminiscent of dinnerware. This means you'll have a place to set all your favorite snacks and edibles without worrying about staining or ruining the suit's stylish aesthetic. And exterior clean up is a breeze: simply remove the water supply and hose yourself off. Presto! Good as new. Comes in 4 great sizes, including L, XL, XXL, and XXXL.
No wishful thinking here! In video games, it's rare to see an actual swimsuit on any female video game character that isn't fan art. The Slobs are saluting the swimsuit and its appearance in video games from Metroid to DOA Xtreme Beach Volleyball!
Let's get HOT.
7. Vice City's Latina Seductress
Ah, the GTA Latina. She drew us into the game right from the box art, and we all stayed for the actual game itself. It didn't hurt that GTA Vice City was one of the best titles on the block, either.
Sure, Sony's going to be riding high on the Metal Gear Solid 4 sales, but there's plenty of other games that could easily sell PS3 units. When IS Final Fantasy VII coming out again, anyway? Is it too soon for another Grand Theft Auto? And where in the Hell is my Mega Man Legends sequel? Sony... you have some explaining to do!
The SlobsofGaming have plumbed the depths of their PSX jewel cases and selected 20 games that need to be revived on the PlayStation 3...
Note: The box art for our #1 PS3 title is totally legit. We're 103 percent serious that it's the real thing. Ahh, we're just kidding. Or are we? Yes... Maybe.
#20: Def Jam: Parappa the Rapper
Everyone who played the original Parappa game is almost 10 years older, so it's time to put some blat-blat in this shitznit. This game would adapt new and classic hip-hop joints like Jay-Z's "99 Problems," the Ludacris hit "Move Bitch," and 50 Cent's "Candy Shop". Of course, this game would be rated M -- not just for the thug life and uncensored lyrics, but also for the strip-club bonus stages and badonkadonk booty girls.More features we'd like to see would include unlockable bling, console-exclusive tracks, and cameos from none other than G-Unit.
Awwwwwwwww yeah.
The only thing better than a good comic book is a good comic book dedicated to your favorite video game series. Anyone remember when the Nintendo comics were the hottest thing since Archie and Jughead? How about kicking back in the book shop with your favorite issue of Sonic the Hedgehog? From old gems to new upstarts, the Slobs are thumbing through the pages of the best video game-based comics.
Read on and check out the awesome art!
LongHairedOffender (39)