The Morning Hangover #5

May. 16 3:02 PM by KenTheGreat1

Pokemon Platinum has been announced for the Nintendo DS, and we're already twitching with desire...

Say goodbye to everyone you knew. Tell your loved ones that you're going away for a while. Stock up on water and supplies.

The Pokemon are back.

This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang, but with Pokemon Platinum.

Pokemon, I can't resist you. No one can. You're like cookies for diabetics. Crack for drug addicts. Cankles for chubby chasers. When the Platinum version hits America, all civilization as we know it will come to an halt, as we get ready to catch 'em all over again. Heed my words.

DAMN you, Pokemon. I was done with you after Diamond and Pearl. After years of suckling at your bountiful teats of addictive RPG gameplay, colorful monster design, and complex battle strategy... I convinced myself that I could just walk away. Just when I thought I finally had my life back together, you go and announce a new DS game? DAMN YOU.

We can only guess what delicious morsels you'll use to lure us back in. New battles? Gym leader rematches? Revamped dungeons? A brand-new plot involving the legendary ghost-dragon Giratina? Or will there be even more Pokemon than before... Pokemon that we've never seen?

"After this I saw four Pokemon standing at the four corners of the earth, holding the four winds of the earth, that no wind should blow on the earth, or on the sea, or upon any tree."