The Morning Hangover #3

Apr. 25 10:45 AM by KenTheGreat1

Sure, buy GTA IV for your kids! With any luck, you can get a lawsuit into the news to show what a retarded parent you are.

(This one's for all you special moms and dads out there. You know who you are!)

One day, there's going to be a world where video games like Grand Theft Auto, Metal Gear, and God of War are sold in dark, grimy, underground black markets -- right next to bootleg DVDs, illegal (non-American) soft drinks, and homebrewed Wii-Station-360s.

Why?

Because groups like the "Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood" equate video games with hardcore fist-in-anal-cavity pornography. Grand Theft Auto IV has gotten so much bad press, it's almost cliche. Hell, if it's getting such a bad rap, kids under 18 are going to want it even more! You fools! You've played right into Rockstar's hands!

It's your American duty as a negligent parent.

It's all a conspiracy, and you bought right into it. Without FOX News, the New York Times, and overzealous parents with an axe to grind, GTA wouldn't be nearly as big as it is now! The simple plan for GTA IV's sales is so easy, it's downright devious.

1. Announce the next GTA game.

2. Make damn sure the game is rated M.

3. Throw some guns, exploding cars, and hookers into the ads.

4. Make sure someone from FOX News (or any news organization) hears "Grand Theft Auto" and "violence" in the same sentence.

5. Count your money and laugh all the way to the bank, make other developers jealous.