Completely Unrelated: 19 Movies with Game Names

Apr. 4 12:49 PM by KenTheGreat1

Any gamer knows there are plenty of movies that don't do justice to their video game counterparts - Super Mario Bros., Street Fighter, and Doom, for example. But have you seen the 1977 "Grand Theft Auto" movie? What about the "Halo" flicks released in 1997 and 2004?

We've rediscovered several rare and unpopular films, past and present, which happen to share titles with popular video games of today and yesteryear. Imagine a crime-drama Halo film that has nothing to do with aliens, the arcade-classic Centipede on B-movie steroids, and a cinematic take on Harvest Moon like you never imagined. The titles may be the same, but these films couldn't be further out in left field if they tried matching up to the games.

#19: "Halo"
Obscure children's movie, 1997
In this Hindi film, a little girl named Sasha tries to reunite with her lost puppy in India's biggest city. For some reason, the puppy is named "Halo."

Epic science-fiction video game, 2001
In this epic space adventure, a super-soldier named Master Chief tries to reunite alien scum with the butt of his rifle. For obvious reasons, the super-weapon shaped like a halo is called "Halo."

Horrible independent film, 2004
Apparently, someone saw The Fast and The Furious, ripped off the movie's plot, purposely used the Halo title to generate traffic, and slung together this piece of crap. Just looking at the DVD box for this thing makes it obvious that someone was playing name games. If any copies of "Halo The Motion Picture" exist, they can most likely be found at the bottom of the $2.99 movie bin in your local grocery store.



#18: "Bully"
Generic teen thriller, 2001
Fed up with the abusive antics of his best friend, main character Marty and his friends hatch a scheme to murder psychotic villain Bobby. Sex, drugs, and rape abound for the twisted at heart. Allegedly, it's based on a true story.

Sandbox-style kid-friendly nostalgia, 2006
Fed up with the abusive antics of his former friend, main troublemaker Jimmy Hopkins hatches a scheme to take down psychotic villain Gary Smith. Slingshots, bicycle races, and food fights abound for the kid at heart. Apparently, it's based on our own school experiences.



#17: "Killer Instinct"
Ultra 64 fighting game, 1994
A group of unemployed fighters/mutants/wolfmen fights in a high-risk tournament involving an ominous mega-corporation. Every forgettable character can be killed off in ridiculously over-animated Ultra Combos, and the game fails to get a sequel.

Ultra-crappy horror movie, 2000
A group of (most likely) unemployed teenagers plays a high-risk game of "Dare" involving an abandoned insane asylum. Every forgettable character is killed off in a series of ridiculously directed murder scenes, and the movie fails to get a sequel.



#16: "Labyrinth"
Obscure microcomputer maze game, 1984
In this scrolling 2D shooter, it's up to the player to escape the dangerous maze filled with level after level of monsters. This computer game was considered ahead of it's time for the smooth motion, graphical detail, and genuinely fun gameplay.

Popular children's fantasy film, 1986
In this cult favorite, it's up to spunky Jennifer Connelly to rescue her baby brother from David Bowie's dangerous maze, filled with room after room of puzzles and weird creatures. The film was a flop, but ahead of its time in puppetry, musical numbers, and recklessly funny use of Bowie as a baby-napper.



#15: "Harvest Moon"
Super-rare farming game, 1996
After your grandfather dies of old age, it's the player's job to resurrect the old farm and raise the best crops around. Based around the laborious, whimsical pace of agricultural town life, it's perfect for the farming fanatic inside of you!

Super-weird horror film, 2007
After the main character's family dies of old age/a vicious wolf-mauling, it's up to some young hot bodies to claim a hidden orchard with the best apples around. We don't know what the hell this murder movie is going for, but it's perfect for the fruit fetishist inside of you!



#14: "Adventure Island"
Super-old black-and-white movie, 1947
A group of American seamen and a damsel-in-distress find themselves marooned on a tropical island at the mercy of a lunatic British gentleman who rules the land. Booby traps and other weird crap hinder the film's heroes every step of the way. Not the greatest plot, but it's apparently a classic.

Not-quite-so-old platformer game, 1986
A potbellied skateboarder with a baseball cap tries to rescue his damsel-in-distress by traveling from one tropical island to another. Along the way, everything under the sky - bugs, open campfires, the ocean water, and falling boulders - hinders the game's hero every step of the way. Not the greatest game, but it's undeniably a respected classic.



#13: "Killzone"
Ambitious FPS with mixed reviews, 2004
The title of this game underwent some early changes, but it'll get your heart racing for all of the right reasons--the sequel to this popular futuristic shooter (when it comes out) could potentially boost interest in the stagnant, lumbering giant known as the PlayStation 3.

Ambitious martial arts film with great reviews, 2005
The title of this movie is a little different, but it gets kung-fu fans' hearts racing for all of the right reasons. The sequel to this popular action flick (when it comes out) has a lot to live up to, since the first "Kill Zone" boosted major interest in stagnant Hong Kong cinema.



#12: "Grand Theft Auto"
Ron Howard's first movie, 1977
After stealing a Rolls-Royce, two young lovers try to make their way to Las Vegas with a $25,000 reward on their heads. Multiple car accidents ensue.

Rockstar North's first GTA title, 1997
After stealing a car/shooting at the cops/mowing down innocent bystanders, you try to make your way through Liberty City/San Andreas/Vice City with your ass in one piece. Multiple sequels ensue.



#11: "Burnout"
Bluegrass teen racing drama, 1979
A low-budget drag racing movie with a Deep South vibe, this film can be a total bore. You're better off going outside and having a real drag race.

High-speed console racing game, 2001
A high-budget racing game with a heavily destructive vibe, this title doesn't bore you for a second. With over-the-top crashes and car pileups in every challenge, you're better off racing inside then trying it in the streets.



#10: "Earthbound"
Family sci-fi comedy film, 1981
A boy named Tommy and his grandfather stumble upon shipwrecked aliens that resemble Earthlings. Wacky hijinks ensue as the humans try to protect the aliens from the dreaded arm of the government. This was apparently supposed to be the pilot for a TV show, but the idea was dropped. A few years later, "Alf" would capitalize on the concept.

Sci-fi cult favorite RPG, 199X
A boy named Ness and his friends discover a time-traveling alien that resembles a huge insect. Wacky hijinks ensue as the young foursome try to defend the planet from the dreaded 'Embodiment of Evil' called Giygas. This was apparently supposed to be sequel to another game, but Japan hoarded it for almost 14 years. Many years later, Nintendo would recapitalize on the concept with Mother 1 + 2.



#9: "Portal"
Short independent UK film, 2006
This two-minute short tries a few things with 3D graphics, showing off an entity called "The Portal" that represents various physical states of being. It sounds like a total trip.

Short cult favorite puzzle game, 2007
This four-hour video game breaks boundaries and sets new heights with its use of 3D space and the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. Man, it's a total trip.



#8: "Primal Rage"
Super-cheesy thriller movie with bio-contaminated baboons, 1988
After a Florida school unwittingly creates a "rage virus" that ravages the human mind, three rapists and a valley girl become monsters that thirst for blood. This movie is prime 80's trash, thanks to its sexual content and laughingly low-quality gore.

Super-bloody 2D fighting game with giant dinosaurs, 1994
After a meteor storm ravages the planet, mankind is forced to bear witness to the new animal kings of the Earth. This game was controversial for its time, thanks to gory finishing moves and the unwelcome concept of pagan beast worship.



#7: "Streets of Rage"
Side-scrolling beat 'em up, 1991
Three young police officers (a boxer, a martial artist, and a judo expert) take a stand after their city falls prey to an evil crime syndicate. After quitting the force, these maverick fighters take matters into their own hands by taking out the traaaaash! This game just rocks because of its ass-kicking combat and kick-ass music.

Martial arts action film, 1994
A young investigative reporter takes a stand against kiddie crime by challenging the leader of an evil criminal group. With the help of a 12-year-old sidekick, this maverick journalist is ready to take out the traaaaash! This movie rocks because of its main star, Mimi Lesseos, a former professional wrestling champion and a certified black belt in judo.



#6: "The Club"
Independent UK thriller flick, 2004
Described as "a place where everything goes," an average Joe joins The Club, unaware that his life is mortal danger. The rest of the movie boils down to a manhunt involving armored goons with riot gear and a hot mama in black leather.

Online U.S. & U.K. action-shooter, 2008
Described as "the world's most lethal underground sport," eight unique characters join The Club, fully aware that their lives are in mortal danger. The game boils down to a gladiator-style bloodbath involving criminals, junkies, psychopaths, and other unlucky shmucks.



#5: "Maximum Force"
C-rank independent film, 1992
Three cops load up their guns to take down a crime organization and a corrupt police chief. The cast is unrecognizable, the plot is generic, and the movie is thusly considered a ball of suck.

C-rank arcade shooter, 1997
You (and a friend?) load up the plastic light guns and chase down a terrorist organization in this corrupt excuse for a game. The live-action video characters are generic, the special effects are laughably cartoon-like, and the game is widely considered to be a giant ball of suck.



#4: "Red Steel"
Over-dramatic martial arts crime movie, 1995
A token renegade FBI agent is inexplicably involved in a war with a local Chinese gang after they kill his best friend. Main character "John Steel" eventually ends up protecting exotic hotness "Sumay" from the gang's big boss, and the story's twist comes when the FBI turns corrupt. Typically, lots and lots of skilled Chinese assassins can't compete with one pissed-off American.

Over-dramatic martial arts FPS, 2006
A token John Doe badass is inexplicably involved in a war with the local Yakuza group after they kill his fiancé's dad. Main character Scott Monroe eventually ends up chasing his fiancé's kidnappers all the way to Japan, and the story's twist depends on the player's sense of mercy. Typically, lots and lots of skilled Japanese assassins can't compete with one pissed-off American.



#3: "Shinobi"
Action-packed ninja game, 1987
A ninja named Musashi goes on a quest to rescue the Oboro clan from a criminal gang called "Zeed," battling his way through an army of bad-guy samurais, cyborgs, and a helicopter gunship. After many years of sequels, the series was revived with a new "Shinobi" title. For hardcore ninja fans only!

Action-packed ninja movie, 2005
Two ninja, Oboro and Gennosuke, try to rescue their clans from mutual extermination by the dangerous shogun Ieyasu, despite being forced to battle each other to the death. After two years, the film was revived and packaged for a United States release. For hardcore ninja fans only!



#2: "Dead or Alive"
Yakuza action film, 1999
Directed by well-known filmmaker Miike Takashi, rival factions in the Japanese mafia battle for control of the criminal underworld, climaxing in a ridiculous finale involving huge bazookas and nuclear explosions. Tons of violence and sexual crap can be seen everywhere. Don't let your kids watch this movie unless supervised!

3D fighting game, 1996
Directed by well-known video game pimp Itagaki Tomonobu, rival fighters in the DoA Tournament battle for personal glory and/or revenge. Most climaxes in this (and later titles) involved huge bazookas. Tons of violence and sexual crap can be seen everywhere. Don't let your kids play this game unless 'jubbling' is turned off!



#1: "Centipede"
Classic arcade shooter, 1980
A simple premise for a simple game, centipedes invade mushroom-filled levels, intent on getting to the player. Playing this game for a few minutes helps to relieve the glory days of retro gaming.

Bloodthirsty centipedes hunt down a group of campers in cursed Indian caves, 2004
A completely absurd premise for an even more absurd movie, killer centipedes hunt down a group of American campers spelunking in India (wait, what?). Watching the trailer for a few minutes basically gives away the entire plot, thankfully saving us from having to hunt for this half-baked independent film.

Comments

I just saw a porno called "Ass Effect." Does that count?

 

I remember Centipede. It got robbed at the Oscars for Best Picture. I think they gave it to something Mel Gibson did. So bogus.

 

Was it Lethal Weapon? Cause that movie was the bomb. It totally deserved to win over centipede. represent!

 

Well, I now have my next 5 weekend movie nights planned out, . . . I really hope Stephen Baldwin is in a few of these flicks, . . I'm sure he is......That Arabic "Burnout" movie looks like a real treat, that's going to the top of my Queue..

 

Dave:

Hm. That's one letter shy, but I don't mind researching it.

 

I'll help you if you like. lol

 

Killer Instinct (the game) did have a sequel. It featured a couple of new characters, and lady wearing green spandex changed her weapons.

 

A few of those games/movies look like they may have had some connection aside from the titles. I've played Laberynth, the game based on the movie, not the one shown above, it was okay, sorta like the original Gauntlet games or Willow.

 

To nmechmpin:

You're kidding!

Someone gave Killer Instinct a sequel?!

 

real classics here *rolls eyes* I'm just surprised there weren't any porn flicks there..lol

 

A great read/awesome feature!

 

yeah ki2 or killer instinct 'gold'
LINKS OMITTED

 

Actually, Ron Howard was credited in a movie as early as 1959, though his first really recognizable one was the Music Man. So, more than technically, Grand Theft Auto was not Ron Howard's first movie.

 

I've been cruelly tricked by some of these. You didn't like KI? It was one of my favorite fighting games. Oh well, no biggy, but saying that on the web can get you virtually mauled. lol

 

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