The 30 Most Hideous Gaming Tattoos

Mar. 27 10:50 AM by LongHairedOffender

I'll just say it: video games are awesome, but getting video game tattoos is awful, for the most part. We here at GamerHelp have compiled the most sickening displays of tattooed gaming love, and would love nothing more than to share these atrocities with you. Here we go, The 30 Most Hideous Gaming Tattoos!

30. "Tough Dweeb"

Game Over? Game Over? If you're talking about your love life, then yes, it is way over. <BR/>Finger tattoos belong on bikers and dudes in bands; if I was playing some Wii game <BR/>against this guy and I lost, and he held his fingers up at me with a smug look on his face <BR/>(which could be the only possible reason someone would get this tattoo), it would not only cause <BR/>me to throw up, but on him, while punching his crotch over and over again.

Game Over? Game Over? If you're talking about your love life, then yes, it is way over.
Finger tattoos belong on bikers and dudes in bands; if I was playing some Wii game
against this guy and I lost, and he held his fingers up at me with a smug look on his face
(which could be the only possible reason someone would get this tattoo), it would not only cause
me to throw up, but on him, while punching his crotch over and over again.

29. "Buttari"

No matter how many countless hours you spent playing Joust as a child,
never let the nostalgia brainwash you into searing a floundering video game
company's logo that looks like red dung onto your body. You lose.

28. "Tubby Guns"

Let's be realistic. If you want to get some badass "quick-draw" style
gun tattoos, but you want to represent your inner dork in some way at the same time, please
just put a damn koopa on the guns somewhere. Never, ever, ever
get ugly-ass NES Zapper guns tattooed onto your bloated
love handles for the sake of the rest of us who have to know
deep down that if we ever saw your rotund figure wobbling around
on the beach somewhere with your idiotic tattoos, we'd involuntarily spew on ourselves.

27. "Chick Demagnetizer"

Ok, as with a few other tattoos on this list, how the hell<BR/> is getting a tattoo of an effing piece of video game hardware representative of how much<BR/> you like video games? Hey, I really like typing and playing PC games, maybe I'll get a<BR/> goddamn keyboard tattooed on my forehead. Idiot.

Ok, as with a few other tattoos on this list, how the hell
is getting a tattoo of an effing piece of video game hardware representative of how much
you like video games? Hey, I really like typing and playing PC games, maybe I'll get a
goddamn keyboard tattooed on my forehead. Idiot.

26. "Dork For Life"

It'd be easy to explain to your kids someday "oh, this little tattoo of Mario on my arm?
He was a video game character from back in the day, before we started putting
computer chips into our skulls." On the other hand, this convoluted
piece of trash is going to be a little more difficult to explain to sane people.

25. "Forced Abstinence"

So the controller cord is coming out of your chest. Is this supposed to represent in some<BR/> imbecilic way that you sir, are in fact a video game?<BR/> Take a cheese grater to your chest and start a new life, it's not too late.

So the controller cord is coming out of your chest. Is this supposed to represent in some
imbecilic way that you sir, are in fact a video game?
Take a cheese grater to your chest and start a new life, it's not too late.

24. "Hairio"

I can't tell if Mario looks crazy-eyed due to poor tattoo design, or if it's an optical<BR/> illusion caused by this furry creature's man-pelt. If Mario himself could know<BR/> that his smiling face was stamped underneath this dude's<BR/> wool coat, he would cry. He would cry for a long, long time.

I can't tell if Mario looks crazy-eyed due to poor tattoo design, or if it's an optical
illusion caused by this furry creature's man-pelt. If Mario himself could know
that his smiling face was stamped underneath this dude's
wool coat, he would cry. He would cry for a long, long time.

23. "Instant Vomit Inducer"

A fun game that this chick should play is how many guys with intent to bone see<BR/> this cruel homage to Pac-Man and run for the hills. I hope she wears<BR/> those taped-on paper towels at all times as well.

A fun game that this chick should play is how many guys with intent to bone see
this cruel homage to Pac-Man and run for the hills. I hope she wears
those taped-on paper towels at all times as well.

22. "Kindergarten Level Nerd Stamp"

Why, why, why, why, why. It's somehow more sickening than getting a peripheral<BR/> tattoo to get a tattoo tribute to a damn code. Throw in the defunct original Gameboy<BR/> and the fact that it all looks like it was drawn by Michael J. Fox on a bad day<BR/> and you have a recipe for one fugly tattoo.

Why, why, why, why, why. It's somehow more sickening than getting a peripheral
tattoo to get a tattoo tribute to a damn code. Throw in the defunct original Gameboy
and the fact that it all looks like it was drawn by Michael J. Fox on a bad day
and you have a recipe for one fugly tattoo.

21. "Necklace de Geek"

Metroid, Final Fantasy, Mario, and a portly bear attempting to make a shy, <BR/>sexy face... I just threw up on a baby.

Metroid, Final Fantasy, Mario, and a portly bear attempting to make a shy,
sexy face... I just threw up on a baby.

20. "Pokefoot"

Athlete's Foot, I choose you!

19. "Screwed"

Throughout the rest of his life, Raccoon Mario led Brian on a journey of failed <BR/>relationships, constant mockery in public places, job rejections, and eventually, suicide.

Throughout the rest of his life, Raccoon Mario led Brian on a journey of failed
relationships, constant mockery in public places, job rejections, and eventually, suicide.

18. "Scrotebag Sonic"

This douche should've gone with his first tattoo idea that fit<BR/> his persona much better: a giant butthole on his arm.

This douche should've gone with his first tattoo idea that fit
his persona much better: a giant butthole on his arm.

17. "Squished Quake"

Putting a video game logo on your breasts in no way hides the fact that
you are still a fat, disgusting biker chick; even the leather holding them in
belts out "moos" of agony for having to be close to you.

16. "Sonic The Scribble"

We don't know what's worse, the disgustingly look on this dumbass' face<BR/> as he tries to be cute for the camera, or that this Sonic looks like it was<BR/> originally sketched onto someone's desk during history class.

We don't know what's worse, the disgustingly look on this dumbass' face
as he tries to be cute for the camera, or that this Sonic looks like it was
originally sketched onto someone's desk during history class.

15. "Shoot Yourself"

This person couldn't decide if they wanted to go with a tattoo featuring classic Mario
or the ever so trendy Triforce tattoo, so instead they got "Nintendo" permanently
drilled into their flesh to show their pathetic devotion to the multibillion dollar corporation.

14. "Walking Advertisement"

Here we have another shameful example of free advertising. This tattooed imbecile<BR/> probably has sex with a stuffed Sonic the Hedgehog every night.

Here we have another shameful example of free advertising. This tattooed imbecile
probably has sex with a stuffed Sonic the Hedgehog every night.

13. "Trifarts"

Look Kirk Hammett, your tattoo is retarded, but even worse, you're trying to look tough<BR/> while wearing goddamn Spiderman short shorts. You deserve to die a slow, painful death.

Look Kirk Hammett, your tattoo is retarded, but even worse, you're trying to look tough
while wearing goddamn Spiderman short shorts. You deserve to die a slow, painful death.

12. "Doomed Raider"

Throughout all the years of your sexless life, at least you'll have a faded, smear of a <BR/>Lara Croft tattoo which will be a constant reminder that the distance from your hand<BR/> to your calf will be the closest you'll ever be to a woman again.

Throughout all the years of your sexless life, at least you'll have a faded, smear of a
Lara Croft tattoo which will be a constant reminder that the distance from your hand
to your calf will be the closest you'll ever be to a woman again.

11. "Spyroid"

Next time, why not get something even less memorable like the giant turd<BR/> monster from Conker. At least that would be funny <EM>and</EM> pitiful. You disgust me.

Next time, why not get something even less memorable like the giant turd
monster from Conker. At least that would be funny and pitiful. You disgust me.

10. "Handicapped Hill"

How about "Only people who get kicked in the head by a horse
are stupid enough to get tattoos of SILENT HILL"?

9. "Psycho Man Taint"

Uhhh... I'm not exactly sure what crazy acid trip inspired this fecal stamp, <BR/>all I know is that people will not think this is funny, cool, interesting, <BR/>brilliant, etc. But, they will probably spit on you.

Uhhh... I'm not exactly sure what crazy acid trip inspired this fecal stamp,
all I know is that people will not think this is funny, cool, interesting,
brilliant, etc. But, they will probably spit on you.

8. "Cruel Shock"

It's good that you got this tattoo to remind everyone how much you play video games,<BR/> your friends didn't already think you were despicable enough before. Now they have<BR/> reason to spit up a little bile every time they see you.

It's good that you got this tattoo to remind everyone how much you play video games,
your friends didn't already think you were despicable enough before. Now they have
reason to spit up a little bile every time they see you.

7. "Pimple Halo"

Some people get tattoos to represent something they feel strongly for, <BR/>or to remember some important event in their life. Other people get a giant<BR/> Halo tattoo to cover up their back-ne.

Some people get tattoos to represent something they feel strongly for,
or to remember some important event in their life. Other people get a giant
Halo tattoo to cover up their back-ne.

6. "Amputate Immediately"

Is this really necessary? Was it just too much to represent Pac-Man in all his colorful<BR/> glory? This will be a good reminder to people that if Pac-Man <EM>was</EM> made of lead...<BR/> then yes, he'd probably eat lead-colored dots. Good work.

Is this really necessary? Was it just too much to represent Pac-Man in all his colorful
glory? This will be a good reminder to people that if Pac-Man was made of lead...
then yes, he'd probably eat lead-colored dots. Good work.

5. "The Horror..."

GAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! Jesus Christ, a demon from my reoccurring nightmares<BR/> actually lives on this earth. I'm going to go curl up in a ball<BR/> and never play Mario Bros. games again for as long as I live.

GAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! Jesus Christ, a demon from my reoccurring nightmares
actually lives on this earth. I'm going to go curl up in a ball
and never play Mario Bros. games again for as long as I live.

4. "Pixel Link"

Ohhh... until I got two effing inches away from your disgusting tattoo I thought it was<BR/> a steamrolled munchkin from the Wizard of Oz. The cheese grater<BR/> intervention works here as well.

Ohhh... until I got two effing inches away from your disgusting tattoo I thought it was
a steamrolled munchkin from the Wizard of Oz. The cheese grater
intervention works here as well.

3. "NES 4 LYFE"

It's kind of a good thing that this little controller is so faded and gross, because at least<BR/> later on in your pimply life you could probably get away with telling people that you really<BR/> like TV remotes, or 80s boomboxes, or just grayish rectangles.

It's kind of a good thing that this little controller is so faded and gross, because at least
later on in your pimply life you could probably get away with telling people that you really
like TV remotes, or 80s boomboxes, or just grayish rectangles.

2. "Lame Boy"

Hey buddy, remember how much you regretted getting that Atari Jaguar tattoo on your<BR/> right arm? Yes, that's because systems go away and usually we don't care when they do.<BR/> Game Boy is gone and done with, no one cares about your new tattoo, and if you aren't<BR/> mentally handicapped you will crap yourself when you come to this realization.

Hey buddy, remember how much you regretted getting that Atari Jaguar tattoo on your
right arm? Yes, that's because systems go away and usually we don't care when they do.
Game Boy is gone and done with, no one cares about your new tattoo, and if you aren't
mentally handicapped you will crap yourself when you come to this realization.

1. Winnar!

Yes, she got it to pay for her child's education, blah blah blah. Unfortunately, her kid<BR/> ended up dropping out of a school a few days later and running away from home after he<BR/> got his ass handed to him before, during, and after school for his dumbass mom's stupid<BR/> tattoo. And, if you want to argue this isn't a gaming tattoo, it is. That's what Golden<BR/> Palace is all about, aside from turning financially-challenged single<BR/> moms into instant laughing stocks of the entire world.

Yes, she got it to pay for her child's education, blah blah blah. Unfortunately, her kid
ended up dropping out of a school a few days later and running away from home after he
got his ass handed to him before, during, and after school for his dumbass mom's stupid
tattoo. And, if you want to argue this isn't a gaming tattoo, it is. That's what Golden
Palace is all about, aside from turning financially-challenged single
moms into instant laughing stocks of the entire world.