Every Christmas season, the millions and millions of us gamers spend our hard-earned scratch on really expensive crap. Once in a while, we even slap down a few $100 bills for a shiny new console. That crap's expensive too -- I sold a liver to get my PlayStation 3 (wasn't my liver, though).
Let's pretend that we've got cash to burn: what would we buy if weren't spending hundreds and hundred of cold cash dollars on every new system? Well, welcome to our own holiday shopping guide -- the 10 Devices Almost as Cool as Game Consoles! You can have your Xbox and PlayStation, but take a walk with The Pig and consider these other awesome possibilities...
#10: Rocket-Powered Skateboard
Since we first saw the second Back to the Future flick, it has been the dream of many to rip through the streets on a hoverboard. This badass piece of work is as close as man has come, and taking this bad beast to the curb will let people know that you are now in charge. Forget 360 spins; try 360 yards in 60 seconds (note: not for fatties)!
Estimated Cost: $300 or (1) 60GB Xbox 360 Pro Holiday Bundle
#9: Handmade Custom FX Lightsaber
Having one of those fancy FX lightsabers is a screw job -- you hit one guy across the head with it, and it breaks. Epic FAIL. Instead, pick up one of these handy battle ready lightsabers and just have at it. There's no sound effects, but who cares? A Jedi needs no such thing.
Actual Cost: $139.99 or (1) Nintendo DS Lite "Red Mario" Edition
#8: Super Soaker CPS Splashzooka
It's the mega long-cannon of water guns, and nothing's better than the CPS Splashzooka. You don't just get sprayed by this old-school Super Soaker, you slapped in the heart with aqua hammer of pain, pain, PAIN. Being that feared kid on the block with this weapon meant that in a summertime water fight, you were not dicking around. Plus, if you ran out of water, you could always just bludgeon people with the damn thing. Owch!
Estimated Cost: $50 or (1) Game Boy Advance SP - Platinum
#7: 950,000 Volt Blast Knuckles
If you buy any non-lethal forms of self protection, this (and entry #3) is the best way to scare off thieving punk kids trying to jack your precious possessions. Even better, if you get a pair of these, you can become a lightening-wielding vigilante capable of decimating evildoers with the power of Zeus himself (who would buy just one?). If you're ready to accept that power, take the first step to badass-ness.
Actual Cost: $159.99 (Pair) or (1) PSP 2000 Console Pack
#6: Personal Drifter-Edition Bicycle-Kart
Admit it: you've always to ride the shopping carts through the grocery stores as an adult. Hell, I do it now! Well, here's a happy compromise in this awesome half-bicycle and half-shopping cart! Next time you're cruising for potato chips and college girl bootie, do it in style. Eating and riding: together at last.
Estimated Cost: $350 to Build or (1) Nintendo Wii GameStop Bundle
#5: AV310 Widescreen Headset
It has been the dream of man to watch booty flicks and kung-fu movies with nothing more than a VR visor -- that day has come.
Actual Cost: $249.99, 149.99 UK Pounds or (1) Nintendo Wii
#4: Stainless Steel 8GB Video Watch
Every kid reading a Dick Tracy comic longed for one of those kickass video watches, and now you can get one. Just imagine -- you could watch anything, anywhere. Stuck in traffic? Long wait at the dentist? Turn on your watch and catch a few episodes of Witchblade or Baywatch (mmm, Baywatch).
Actual Cost: $129.99 or (1) Nintendo DS Lite
#3: Silver Wolf Full Metal Rubber Band Gun
We have no words but this: AWESOME. DO WANT. We're seeking one right now.
Estimated Cost: $499.99 or (1) PlayStation 3 160 GB Uncharted: Drake's Fortune Pack
#2: Dough-Nu-Matic
Let's imagine for a moment. It's the end of a long, hard working day. You've put away your backpack/briefcase, gotten a nice cold beer, and just want to sit down and watch the game. BUT! You want donuts. What to do? Going to the store would take too much time, and a trek to Krispy Kreme isn't in the cards.
This is why the Dough-Nu-Matic exists, my friends.
Actual Cost: $129.99 or (1) Nintendo DS Lite
#1: Go Fast Consumer Jet Pack
Jet Pack International has spent years crafting the personal flight machine, and it's almost ready to be unleashed on the public... for $200,000. Unlike other bulky, piece-of-crap flight devices, this sleek-looking number is the stuff that the future will be built on. No more traffic! Jet pack-powered basketball! And after that, flying cars won't be far behind...
Estimated Cost: $200,000 or (400) PlayStation 3s / (800) Nintendo Wiis / (400) Xbox 360 Elites
Comments
too...... much...... epic win ahhhhhhhh!
I'd sell my mother's soul for that sweet-ass jet pack.
it wasn't a listed option, but i'd probably blow the money on cheap hookers.
I need that jet pack...
Real pokemon aren't up there? OMG..
Great stuff...Now if only I could get a patent for my idea on building a real transporter...What?!? What do you mean it's not my idea??? Star Trek, what is that? I say the sons of bitches stole the idea from me!!!
WOW....
Dude, Dick Tracy is my favorite movie OF ALL TIME! Warren Beatty FTW!!!
Good list.
thes list is so cooool
That rocket pack kicks ass.
Wow that jet pack is cool lol
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